Wednesday, February 13, 2013

An Open Letter to Saggy Pants Kids:

Off topic post today - just something that has been on my mind.  I work in a school full of alternative kids, if you didn't already know.  One of the janitors calls it Criminal High.  For the most part, I like being there.  The people are all really great to work with.  Most of the kids are really nice.  I know that many of them are likely enrolled at this school for reasons beyond their control.

Dear alternative high school students who wear their pants low, showing off their butts:

Do you do it because everybody else is doing it, or what?

I heard that the rumor that this style originated from men in prison trying to show their willingness for certain activities is just that - a rumor.  I heard that it actually started with kids who couldn't afford to buy new pants when they outgrew their old ones, so they didn't pull them up all the way and wore longer shirts, to create the illusion that their pants still fit.

So.  If you are wearing brand new Nikes and a spendy-looking FUBU sweatshirt, chances are good you could afford new pants.  Besides, the fact that they are so baggy and dragging on the ground around your feet indicates that if you pulled them up to your waist, they'd probably be a perfect fit. 

Plus, today you can go to Savers or Goodwill and get great looking and fitting jeans for little of nothing.

Oh and the few of you wearing your sweatpants low, below the hips - that's the height of ickiness.  Sweatpants hanging low?  Really?

I have to stifle a giggle when I'm following one of you down the hallway at school, and you have to waddle to keep your pants from sliding right down to your ankles.

Sometimes you reach back to tug your pants up, but just a little bit - just so the waist hits right at mid-butt.  That's the perfect place.  They might stay there for the duration of your walk, then.  When you sit down, though, they come right down below your hips, so your whole, entire underwear section is exposed.  You think because you are sitting that it's not showing anything?  Think again.

Aren't you a little embarrassed when you stand up and by then they're down around your knees, and you have to pull your pants up right there in front of everyone?

In between classes as I make my way through the hallways, I have to constantly avert my eyes.  I don't want to see anything that should be covered up, and I wouldn't want to be accused of staring.  But I'm surrounded.  Sometimes I just want to fall to the floor and lie in the fetal position, cover my face and scream "MY EYES!  MY EYES!"

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