Imaginary Vacation

We are heading back to the Waisman Center in Madison, Wisconsin in June, to have the boys participate in another language study.  Both boys, this time.  The whole family will be going.  We are only going to be there about a day and a half, but we are anticipating it as if it were an exotic weeklong getaway.

We don't get many chances to take a real vacation.  To relax, I just log on to Facebook and look at the vacation pictures of all 400 of my friends.  It's called "living vicariously."  It's much cheaper and I don't have to find childcare.

Sometimes I'll log onto Mark's Facebook account and look at his friends' vacation pictures.  Then it's not even people I know, most of the time.  It really seems like a more glamorous and foreign trip if I don't recognize anyone.  I just hope someone has gone somewhere really fun.


Some stranger's picture from a trip to Tahiti.  Feel the cool ocean breeze....



Brief Thoughts

High and low points so far on our trip to Madison for the language study:

~All my kids have sensitive tummies.  I should always have a roll of paper towels in the car.  Forever.  Always.

~When a kid throws up and then cries....it's really hard not to throw up and cry right along with them.

~Swimming in a pool with mom just isn't as fun as it is with other kids.  If AJ could talk in full sentences, he'd have told me this.

~Neither Zack nor AJ seems very upset so far about their being separated.  Neither of them was all that into talking or looking at each other when we Skyped today.  We will try again tomorrow, but so far it looks like I laid awake worrying about the separation for nothing.  Of course, it's just been one day....now we have the weekend coming up, where Zack doesn't have school and therapy to distract from his brother's absence.

~You may think a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better on ciabatta bread than on regular toast, but AJ would not agree with that.

~This area of Madison is full of students who wear all black and dart across streets after dark.  They don't bother with crosswalks.  I would have taken pictures to show the all-black figures had I not been so worried about trying not to kill them.

~AJ functions pretty well when I'm not in the room.  When I'm there, he whines and hides behind me.  When I leave, he sits down and gets down to business.

~Even so, I'm convinced he can see me through that window/mirror.  You know, the one where in his room it looks like a mirror, but in the room next door, it's a window and I can see what they are doing in there.  He keeps coming over to the "mirror" and pointing and babbling.  He knows that's no ordinary mirror.

~When he's working, I'm overcome with pride at how adorable, hilarious and brilliant (well, you know what I mean by that) he is.  I can't stop smiling.  And I can't help but notice how the researchers working with him are pretty serious, writing things down, and not at all engrossed in his adorable-ness like I am.

~Tomorrow they are going to attempt a audiology test on AJ.  He has never cooperated with a hearing test in his life.  So this ought to be entertaining.

Oh, My Babies

This week I'm busy getting ready for a trip.  AJ and I are going to Madison this weekend, so he can participate in a language study at the Waisman Center.  Just AJ and I.  Zack is not talking enough for the study yet.  We hope to bring him next spring.

I've had a lot of misgivings about separating the boys for 4 days and 3 nights.  They don't share a bedroom, they are separated all day for therapy, but they are very, very close in spite of all that.

I know, in my head, that it'll be a good experience for all of us though.  Zack will be fine at home with daddy and Aliza, and grandpas and grandma will be coming over to help out.  AJ will be fine because he'll be with momma.  And I'd be lying if I didn't say a part of me is looking forward to a couple of days away with just one child.

But then this morning, I see the two of them doing this ....

and my heart hurts....how am I going to pull them apart?  For such a long time?  They have never been apart for more than a few hours.  Certainly never overnight!  Is Zack going to wander the house, looking for AJ?  Is he going to scratch his face in frustration and anxiety (which he did quite a bit this weekend, we think perhaps due to the fact that his favorite Wiggles DVD snapped in half), is he going to bite himself?  Is AJ going to give me that teary-eyed look he is so good at and say "Sack?  Sack?"

We will have to Skype each other every day, at least once, so that the boys can see each other.  I hope that is a good thing, and not just torturous for them.  I hope they are comforted by seeing each other.

I know what Temple Grandin would say.  She'd say "Do it. It'll be good for them.  They'll be fine.  Do it."  in her gruff way.  I hope she would be right.