Oh, My Babies

This week I'm busy getting ready for a trip.  AJ and I are going to Madison this weekend, so he can participate in a language study at the Waisman Center.  Just AJ and I.  Zack is not talking enough for the study yet.  We hope to bring him next spring.

I've had a lot of misgivings about separating the boys for 4 days and 3 nights.  They don't share a bedroom, they are separated all day for therapy, but they are very, very close in spite of all that.

I know, in my head, that it'll be a good experience for all of us though.  Zack will be fine at home with daddy and Aliza, and grandpas and grandma will be coming over to help out.  AJ will be fine because he'll be with momma.  And I'd be lying if I didn't say a part of me is looking forward to a couple of days away with just one child.

But then this morning, I see the two of them doing this ....

and my heart hurts....how am I going to pull them apart?  For such a long time?  They have never been apart for more than a few hours.  Certainly never overnight!  Is Zack going to wander the house, looking for AJ?  Is he going to scratch his face in frustration and anxiety (which he did quite a bit this weekend, we think perhaps due to the fact that his favorite Wiggles DVD snapped in half), is he going to bite himself?  Is AJ going to give me that teary-eyed look he is so good at and say "Sack?  Sack?"

We will have to Skype each other every day, at least once, so that the boys can see each other.  I hope that is a good thing, and not just torturous for them.  I hope they are comforted by seeing each other.

I know what Temple Grandin would say.  She'd say "Do it. It'll be good for them.  They'll be fine.  Do it."  in her gruff way.  I hope she would be right.