Chocolate, medicinally

Hey, fellow parents of children with special needs -- what do you take for anxiety?  I'm interested in prescription, over-the-counter, herbs, teas, anything.  Not picky.  All I take right now is chocolate, and it's not quite doing the trick.  I've got to find something, or I may just start drinking during the day.

(I'm just kidding, I'm not going to do that, I know that's a terrible idea.  I know alcoholism is nothing to joke about, and it's a serious disease.  Please don't send me hate mail.)

I'm thinking things lately that I should not allow myself to think.  Remember my friend who passed away recently - Sara, the mom of twins with Fragile X who I'd only recently met?  I bet she never thought she'd leave her sons this soon.

My boys are doing great.  But -- big picture here -- the fact is that most likely they are not going to be entirely self-reliant when they are grown.  They are going to be vulnerable and they are going to need me.  Forever.  I can't ever die.

Or age, for that matter.  I can't be sick, break any bones, get arthritis, or lose my mind.  Not unless I can confine it just happen during school hours.  And if I had that kind of control, I'd be rich.  I don't know how it would make me rich, but I'm sure it would happen somehow.  I'd find a way to bottle and sell that power.

I can still joke about it, but the truth is that the pressure is starting to crack my shell.

I'm not in great shape.  I have weight to lose, and should exercise a lot more.  My medicinal chocolate and other foods I comfort myself with are not helping me reach my goal to remain healthy and never die.

But right now I need to take myself down a notch.  I have a doctor appointment, but until then, I need to experiment with some other remedies I don't need a prescription for.  I'm open to suggestions.