You won't see a lot of pictures of me here (although I'll try to appear occasionally) because lately I'm feeling really old-looking.
I'm trying to figure out at what point I started to look tired all the time. It was sometime between now, and when the boys were born, because I have a picture or two when they were babies where I don't look too exhausted (or at least no more exhausted than any other mom of infant twins and a 2 year old). So that would make it.....sometime between 35 and 40. Look out girls, that's when things changed, albeit subtly. Something minute and vague changed about my eyes. More and more they are buried into my face. It's not the bags under the eyes, those come and go based on the amount of sleep and how good the makeup is. It's the forehead, I think. It's creeping down over my eyes.
I notice it in other people my age, too. Thanks to Facebook I am in contact with lots of people I've known for 30 years who are my age, and I can see the same forehead-creep in some of their faces. I can't decide if that's depressing or comforting. I guess in order to avoid a trip to negative town, I'll find it comforting. It happens to a lot of us.
But not all. Lots of 40 year olds have perfectly fine foreheads. What causes this? Is it genetics or stress? Or more likely, a combination of both? I have a tendency to blame it on the kids, and the Fragile X gene. I blame a lot of my little quirks on the Fragile X gene I carry. And quite justifiably, as many FX gene carriers have issues with anxiety, depression, and infertility (which of course can cause anxiety and depression....). It would probably really be reaching to try to blame aging on the FX gene, though.
While I hope it's not completely hereditary, I bet Aliza can look forward to sinking, drooping eyes and forehead in about 30 years. Hopefully she'll have a sense of humor about it, and a fulfilling enough life not to be bothered too much.
1 day ago
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