Friday, July 26, 2013

Aggression Rears its Ugly Head

Zack had kind of a rough day Wednesday.  Several things happened during the afternoon to take us out of our routine, some of which were my fault for not planning ahead well enough, and some just happened - but in the end, Zack couldn't deal with the wood chips that kept getting caught in his Crocs at the park, so he chased after a kid who had done nothing outside of standing too close by and tried to pinch him.  Then later, he had a tough time transitioning to and from his therapist, and then he got out of his seatbelt on the way home, came up to the front of the van to personally supervise the next video selection.

I got him to go back and sit down easily enough, but then I made a serious error in judgment when I asked Aliza to go back there and see if she could get his seatbelt rebuckled.  I foolishly hoped - in the back of my mind I knew it wasn't likely, but I hoped - that if I paused his video, he'd be able to let her do it.  We were crawling along in heavy traffic on the freeway in Minneapolis, there was nowhere to pull off the road.   So I took a chance and asked her to do it.

And after a short struggle that included me watching in the rear view mirror and uselessly ordering Zack to cooperate, he bit her in the thigh.  And she screamed.

I can't believe I made her do that.  What was I thinking?  He hasn't let her do anything like that to help him in weeks.  He's very aggressive/defensive toward her lately.  Toward everyone, really.  I don't know why I thought that might work. 

He screamed and cried.  She screamed and cried.  I told her to come back up to the front, which she did, and Zack stayed put.  He knew - oh, how he knew he'd done something bad.   In between sobbing and screaming, he would sing a few words of the tune from "Pluto's Bubble Bath," his current favorite Mickey Mouse Clubhouse episode, trying to comfort himself.

After getting everyone settled back down and traffic loosening up, I got over into the carpool lane and burned rubber.  We all wanted to get home.

The new anxiety medication isn't doing much of anything, so far.  I emailed the doctor Thursday.  Within a couple of hours we had it all worked out to increase the dosage.  I am so lucky to have associations with doctors and nurses who know me, and who respond immediately when I call or email.

It wasn't just today.  Every therapy session Zack has had this week ended with a tired looking therapist walking him out, shaking his/her head and saying "that didn't go very well today."

Just like during the Arbaclofen trial I constantly wondered, how much of the boys' progress was due to the medication, I now wonder, how much of Zack's troubles lately are due to the Arbaclofen trial ending?  If he were still on it, would he be having all these anxiety and lashing out problems?  His usual summer sensory issues have been greatly lessened this year, I think due to two things - the swimming pool in our backyard, and the fact that it's been a cooler, less humid summer.

I have to be so careful what I try and do with Zack.  Where I try and take him.  I don't dare go anywhere where there will be very many people.  The other two get bored, staying home all the time.

There have been a few stories lately in the Fragile X group of families who have had to resort to putting their children in a controlled group home setting, when their aggression/sensory defensiveness became more than their parents and caregivers could control.  These stories scare the crap out of me.

They all say that it's one of the toughest decisions to make, which I can certainly imagine.  I know we aren't at that point, but I am afraid it could arrive.  I read these stories and I see parallels in the descriptions of these kids' behavior, and Zack's.  I think about it whenever Zack attacks his sister, or bites me.  Luckily he's not that big, yet.  He's not that difficult, yet.

While it's nice to know I'm not alone, sometimes the way we can share in each others' stories and relate to each other is frightening.

Not only would it kill me to break up the family this way, but separating Zack and AJ would be beyond tragic.  They adore each other and lean on each other.  They worry about each other.  They are like two halves of a whole.

We won't do it.  We won't ever do it.  I have to promise myself that.

We've got to find a medication that helps Zack.  Desperation is setting in.

Aside from trying to pinch the therapists and volunteers, Zack did pretty well at horseback riding last night.

No comments:

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Labels

#youmightbeanautismparentif 2012 in review 9/11 memories ABA therapy Acceptance acronyms advocacy affection aggression AJ Aliza Aliza the playwright All I really need to know... Alphabitty Moments American Girl Ann Coulter antibullying anxiety anxiety in parents of children with special needs apple orchard apps for autism AppSmitten Arbaclofen Arbitrary Thoughts ARC autism autism brushing autism portrayed in TV shows Autism Shines awareness backyard band baseball bath toys beds behavior problems being tall Birthday Boys biting blog change blog hop blogging books bottles brushing bubbles Burnsville Fire Muster bus Cabin Fever in Minnesota candy Carly Fleischmann Carly's Voice cats cats and dogs chewys Chicago childcare for special needs children childhood Children's Museum chocolate Christmas Church circumin clinical trials Clonidine CNN Hero of 2011 coffee communication comparisons computer Conference cost of special education Courage Center Curcumin daddy dance dance competition dance moms Dental surgery dentist developmental milestones diagnosis diapers Diego Disability Day dogs Dolphin Tale Doomsday Preparation Dora Doritos drug trials DVD player early intervention earrings Easter ECSE Parent Retreat electronic gadgets electronics Everything I need to know... Evil Overlord fall falling asleep at school families family fashion fear Featured Feel Good Friday field trip fireworks first day of school Flash Gordon Food Chronicles food issues in Fragile X and autistic children forms forts Fragile Face of God Fragile X Fragile X advocate Fragile X and autism Fragile X Awareness Day Fragile X carriers Fragile X in the news Fragile X presentation Fragile X statistics Fragile X Writers friends fundraiser for Fragile X funniest Funny Gabrielle Giffords Galveston games getting carsick Girls' Night Out Giving Spirit glasses global warming going home Good Morning Great Quotes guest blogs guest post haircuts Halloween hearing test Heaven is for Real hippotherapy holidays Holland Holly home life homework hotel hugging human behavior hyperactivity IEP Meeting IEPs in the news inclusion inspiration integration iPad iPad apps iPad apps for autism IQ testing Jack Jablonski January First Joke journal entry kids with Fragile X and animals Kindergarten Kindle kisses language study learning to talk leaves lemonade stand Lily Little Einsteins losing teeth Mad Gab makeup mall Mall of America marcia braden McDonalds media sensationalization medications Melatonin Miami MIND Institute Minnesota Bloggers Conference minocycline Miracle League monkeys mosquito bites Mother's Day movies MVMOM Used Clothing and Equipment Sale nail trimming names naughtiness neighbors nicknames nightmares normal off topic one thing leads to another online dating Operation Beautiful oral sensory orphan drug act other bloggers Our Wedding outside overstimulation panic attacks parade parental stress Parenthood park Partners in Policymaking penicillin people with disabilities pets pharmacy fun photography Photoshop picnic Pictures pinching pink shirt Pinterest playing outside playing with toys poem politics poop potty training Presents protecting autistic children rash reading to kids research Retreat riding a bike Robin Williams Roger Ebert routine RSS feed RUSH University San Diego Sandy Hook Elementary Santa schedules school school bus school notes school pictures screaming self image self-checkouts sensory Seroquel siblings with developmental delays sick kids sippy cups sleep smile snow pictures Snowstorm social situations speaking of the unspeakable special education special education evaluation special needs kids special needs parents Special Needs Ryan Gosling Special Olympics spelling spoon feeding spring break staying positive stimming Strep STX209 Stylish Blog Award suicide summer Sunday School Sundays sunshine survival mode swimming talking talking to kindergarteners Target teacher's aides Teeth brushing Tegretol Temple Grandin Ten Commandments textbook case of Fragile X thankful thanksgiving that window/mirror thing The Autism Store The R Word the rapid passage of time The Right Things to say to parents of special needs children The Santa Experience the Shedd Aquarium The Twin Thing The Wiggles therapeutic horseback riding therapy This is Autism topless trampoline traveling with special needs children TV twins with special needs Twitter typical Fragile X characteristics typical kids typing vacation Vacation Bible School video games videos volunteering Waisman Center water play way-back-Wednesday What I've Learned What's your song? when a special needs parent dies Wiggles Wii games Winner Winner Chicken Dinner winter wonder Wonder Pets Wordful Wednesday Wordless Wednesday Words of Wisdom World Autism Awareness Day YMCA You Tube Zack Zoloft zoo animals

Fragile X Blogs