Wednesday, February 09, 2011

It's a twin thing.

Zack and AJ have their routines when they get to school, I'm told.  AJ greets everyone by name enthusiastically, one by one, and then watches out the classroom window at the other students arriving.  Zack hangs up the backpack and then goes off to his own corner to bounce around and assimilate to the classroom.  He smiles a lot and usually greets the teachers, but none of his classmates.

One day this week, AJ had a dentist appointment so he got to school a little late, and Zack rode the bus and arrived at school without his twin.  And there, he came out of his shell a little.

He greeted all the kids by name, and watched out the window the way his brother usually does.  Maybe he was looking for AJ.  But it seems like maybe he was taking on some of his brother's mannerisms and personality traits in his absence.  I have read this is a twin thing - one taking on the other's personality characteristics in his absence.

Each twin has his own personality, obviously, but there often is a dominant twin and a passive twin.  I don't think AJ is in all respects the dominant twin, but he is definitely more personable.   Zack has always been more shy and socially anxious, and perhaps just more inhibited by the autism characteristics.

The last two of their three years of preschool, the twins were in separate classrooms-- both to keep one of them relying on the other too much, and to allow their individual personalities develop.  It worked out really well; Zack was able to blossom in a classroom without his brother, and develop into more of an individual.

Now, in kindergarten, it's not really possible to separate them, as there is only one autism classroom in their elementary school.  So they are back together.

When they were babies, we really thought of Zack as the dominant twin.  Zack was born first, crawled first, and walked first.  He's very determined and strong.  AJ was a much more laid back baby, content to watch his brother pave the way through all the development milestones.  Somewhere along the way, though, AJ's outgoing personality seems to have taken a lead role, and Zack's reluctance in social situations has held him back a bit.

That's why it's so fun to hear that Zack can let his little light shine.  He can totally be outgoing and say hi to the other kids.  And we'll have to try to give him more opportunities to emerge from his more boisterous brother's shadow.

6 comments:

Michelle said...

That is so great to hear. I never knew that about twins.

Cortney said...

I just love reading your posts. I am home from school sick today and now I miss my kids.

Kim and Steve said...

Will you tell us what he did today when his brother returned?

Bonnie@TheFragileXFiles said...

@Twin EnginesThey didn't tell me anything about it today. I assume they returned to their usual roles....

Joey Lynn Resciniti said...

That's really interesting. I've never heard much about twin behavior. I bet that confuses the heck out of people who already have trouble telling them apart!

Kim and Steve said...

I did get a reply but it was your question, not your reply from above. Steve is interested but has an erratic work/travel schedule. Send more details, he'd like to meet more MVMOM dads?

Labels

#youmightbeanautismparentif 2012 in review 9/11 memories ABA therapy Acceptance acronyms advocacy affection aggression AJ Aliza Aliza the playwright All I really need to know... Alphabitty Moments American Girl Ann Coulter antibullying anxiety anxiety in parents of children with special needs apple orchard apps for autism AppSmitten Arbaclofen Arbitrary Thoughts ARC autism autism brushing autism portrayed in TV shows Autism Shines awareness backyard band baseball bath toys beds behavior problems being tall Birthday Boys biting blog change blog hop blogging books bottles brushing bubbles Burnsville Fire Muster bus Cabin Fever in Minnesota candy Carly Fleischmann Carly's Voice cats cats and dogs chewys Chicago childcare for special needs children childhood Children's Museum chocolate Christmas Church circumin clinical trials Clonidine CNN Hero of 2011 coffee communication comparisons computer Conference cost of special education Courage Center Curcumin daddy dance dance competition dance moms Dental surgery dentist developmental milestones diagnosis diapers Diego Disability Day dogs Dolphin Tale Doomsday Preparation Dora Doritos drug trials DVD player early intervention earrings Easter ECSE Parent Retreat electronic gadgets electronics Everything I need to know... Evil Overlord fall falling asleep at school families family fashion fear Featured Feel Good Friday field trip fireworks first day of school Flash Gordon Food Chronicles food issues in Fragile X and autistic children forms forts Fragile Face of God Fragile X Fragile X advocate Fragile X and autism Fragile X Awareness Day Fragile X carriers Fragile X in the news Fragile X presentation Fragile X statistics Fragile X Writers friends fundraiser for Fragile X funniest Funny Gabrielle Giffords Galveston games getting carsick Girls' Night Out Giving Spirit glasses global warming going home Good Morning Great Quotes guest blogs guest post haircuts Halloween hearing test Heaven is for Real hippotherapy holidays Holland Holly home life homework hotel hugging human behavior hyperactivity IEP Meeting IEPs in the news inclusion inspiration integration iPad iPad apps iPad apps for autism IQ testing Jack Jablonski January First Joke journal entry kids with Fragile X and animals Kindergarten Kindle kisses language study learning to talk leaves lemonade stand Lily Little Einsteins losing teeth Mad Gab makeup mall Mall of America marcia braden McDonalds media sensationalization medications Melatonin Miami MIND Institute Minnesota Bloggers Conference minocycline Miracle League monkeys mosquito bites Mother's Day movies MVMOM Used Clothing and Equipment Sale nail trimming names naughtiness neighbors nicknames nightmares normal off topic one thing leads to another online dating Operation Beautiful oral sensory orphan drug act other bloggers Our Wedding outside overstimulation panic attacks parade parental stress Parenthood park Partners in Policymaking penicillin people with disabilities pets pharmacy fun photography Photoshop picnic Pictures pinching pink shirt Pinterest playing outside playing with toys poem politics poop potty training Presents protecting autistic children rash reading to kids research Retreat riding a bike Robin Williams Roger Ebert routine RSS feed RUSH University San Diego Sandy Hook Elementary Santa schedules school school bus school notes school pictures screaming self image self-checkouts sensory Seroquel siblings with developmental delays sick kids sippy cups sleep smile snow pictures Snowstorm social situations speaking of the unspeakable special education special education evaluation special needs kids special needs parents Special Needs Ryan Gosling Special Olympics spelling spoon feeding spring break staying positive stimming Strep STX209 Stylish Blog Award suicide summer Sunday School Sundays sunshine survival mode swimming talking talking to kindergarteners Target teacher's aides Teeth brushing Tegretol Temple Grandin Ten Commandments textbook case of Fragile X thankful thanksgiving that window/mirror thing The Autism Store The R Word the rapid passage of time The Right Things to say to parents of special needs children The Santa Experience the Shedd Aquarium The Twin Thing The Wiggles therapeutic horseback riding therapy This is Autism topless trampoline traveling with special needs children TV twins with special needs Twitter typical Fragile X characteristics typical kids typing vacation Vacation Bible School video games videos volunteering Waisman Center water play way-back-Wednesday What I've Learned What's your song? when a special needs parent dies Wiggles Wii games Winner Winner Chicken Dinner winter wonder Wonder Pets Wordful Wednesday Wordless Wednesday Words of Wisdom World Autism Awareness Day YMCA You Tube Zack Zoloft zoo animals

Fragile X Blogs