She should have just punched me in the head.

There was a Simpsons episode where Bart's girlfriend breaks up with him, and then she reaches into his chest and rips his heart out, saying "you won't be needing this anymore."  Then I think she throws it against the wall.  That sort of happened to me yesterday.

The head honcho, the bosswoman of our therapists was here today.  The one who makes decisions.  The one who has said "mental retardation" to me so many times.  I mean, I think she said it completely justifiably, in the context of the discussion we were having about the boys progress and their disability.  At least I think it was completely justifiable. Those two words slice through me like a hot knife through butter, and by the time we're done talking, I'm a melted mess a goo.

After what she said today, I feel like she may have lost her touch with humanity.

So anywho... today she was here to evaluate the boys' progress.  Since we are getting close to summer and then to 1st grade in the fall, we need to figure out what the plan is for the next few months.  When they go to school full time next fall, there won't be as much time for ABA therapy at home.  Basically, it's time to start winding it down a bit, start planning for how we are going to finish.  She asked me to be thinking about what exactly I want them to be able to do, by the time we are finished with ABA.  Which will be in less than a year, I'm guessing.

Then she went to observe and evaluate both boys, and came back to report her thoughts to me.

AJ is doing super well with his speech.  All his programs are moving along at such a great pace, she doesn't want to change a thing.  Zack, on the other hand, has been having some trouble keeping up with some of his language programs.  She'd like to back off of a few of them, in the interests of time.  He needs to be better at self-care and personal safety and things like that.

And from here on, I'm paraphrasing her comments, more or less, because my brain alternated between disbelief that she was really saying this, and fogging over to protect myself from the pain.  But I swear, this is what she said.

She said that at this point, we can probably make the statement that they will be in special education throughout their schooling.  And we really ought to get at least one of them talking well, in full clear sentences, so that when they are grown and living in a group home, won't it be nice if one of them is able to tell the staff "I want to call mom."

She's nodding and smiling knowingly at me as she says this.

Geeeeeeeeeeeeez, lady.  Why don't you just rip my heart out and beat me with it.

Thanks for that image.