Thursday, May 10, 2012

On Being Nonverbal

Verbility (yes, I made up that word.  Spellcheck is about to explode, it hates it so much.) is gray.

It's not "yes or "no."  One doesn't suddenly, one day, develop the ability to talk and then graduate to the state of being "verbal."  It's a very gradual process during which there are moments when you seem completely able to express yourself, and words are leaping out of you as if they've finally broken through a wall, and other moments when you are so silent and unresponsive, it's as if you've never spoken one word, and never will. 

Watch it, kitty.  I'll bop you right on the head with my monkey.  I'm not afraid of you.  Much.

Becoming verbal is a frustrating road full of speed bumps, blind crossings, and construction - lots of construction. 

No one explained this to me, back when I was hoping, praying desperately, for just one identifiable word to escape their mouths.  We got a word - "mom" - when they were 4, and I immediately leapt off the nonverbal train to grab onto the verbal one.  Because that's where we were, now.

So I feel guilty being frustrated that I still can't understand a lot of what they say, now at the age of 7.  Especially Zack.  He murmurs things and I try so hard to figure out what he's saying.  Because I'm really his best hope.  I spend the most time with him, I listen to him the most.  Of everyone he knows, I'm probably the most likely to be able to understand him.

So if I want others to understand him, and for him to really, truly, graduate to being considered "verbal" by regular people, I need to work on his clarity.  And I need for him to speak in sentences.  It's not good enough that when he says "mmmahkit," that I understand he wants the Team Umizoomi episode "Trip to the Supermarket."  He needs to be able to say the whole name of the show.

And both boys needs to get over their slight issue with public and nonfamiliar people mutism.  That is, they don't talk much, if at all, around people they don't know well and in unfamiliar places.  It's hard to convince people, like doctors and therapists, that they can actually speak, when nobody but family ever gets to hear it.

Well, we're on the verbal road, I guess, and I'll just have to make sure I have good shock absorbers.

No comments:


#youmightbeanautismparentif 2012 in review 9/11 memories ABA therapy Acceptance acronyms advocacy affection aggression AJ Aliza Aliza the playwright All I really need to know... Alphabitty Moments American Girl Ann Coulter antibullying anxiety anxiety in parents of children with special needs apple orchard apps for autism AppSmitten Arbaclofen Arbitrary Thoughts ARC autism autism brushing autism portrayed in TV shows Autism Shines awareness backyard band baseball bath toys beds behavior problems being tall Birthday Boys biting blog change blog hop blogging books bottles brushing bubbles Burnsville Fire Muster bus Cabin Fever in Minnesota candy Carly Fleischmann Carly's Voice cats cats and dogs chewys Chicago childcare for special needs children childhood Children's Museum chocolate Christmas Church circumin clinical trials Clonidine CNN Hero of 2011 coffee communication comparisons computer Conference cost of special education Courage Center Curcumin daddy dance dance competition dance moms Dental surgery dentist developmental milestones diagnosis diapers Diego Disability Day dogs Dolphin Tale Doomsday Preparation Dora Doritos drug trials DVD player early intervention earrings Easter ECSE Parent Retreat electronic gadgets electronics Everything I need to know... Evil Overlord fall falling asleep at school families family fashion fear Featured Feel Good Friday field trip fireworks first day of school Flash Gordon Food Chronicles food issues in Fragile X and autistic children forms forts Fragile Face of God Fragile X Fragile X advocate Fragile X and autism Fragile X Awareness Day Fragile X carriers Fragile X in the news Fragile X presentation Fragile X statistics Fragile X Writers friends fundraiser for Fragile X funniest Funny Gabrielle Giffords Galveston games getting carsick Girls' Night Out Giving Spirit glasses global warming going home Good Morning Great Quotes guest blogs guest post haircuts Halloween hearing test Heaven is for Real hippotherapy holidays Holland Holly home life homework hotel hugging human behavior hyperactivity IEP Meeting IEPs in the news inclusion inspiration integration iPad iPad apps iPad apps for autism IQ testing Jack Jablonski January First Joke journal entry kids with Fragile X and animals Kindergarten Kindle kisses language study learning to talk leaves lemonade stand Lily Little Einsteins losing teeth Mad Gab makeup mall Mall of America marcia braden McDonalds media sensationalization medications Melatonin Miami MIND Institute Minnesota Bloggers Conference minocycline Miracle League monkeys mosquito bites Mother's Day movies MVMOM Used Clothing and Equipment Sale nail trimming names naughtiness neighbors nicknames nightmares normal off topic one thing leads to another online dating Operation Beautiful oral sensory orphan drug act other bloggers Our Wedding outside overstimulation panic attacks parade parental stress Parenthood park Partners in Policymaking penicillin people with disabilities pets pharmacy fun photography Photoshop picnic Pictures pinching pink shirt Pinterest playing outside playing with toys poem politics poop potty training Presents protecting autistic children rash reading to kids research Retreat riding a bike Robin Williams Roger Ebert routine RSS feed RUSH University San Diego Sandy Hook Elementary Santa schedules school school bus school notes school pictures screaming self image self-checkouts sensory Seroquel siblings with developmental delays sick kids sippy cups sleep smile snow pictures Snowstorm social situations speaking of the unspeakable special education special education evaluation special needs kids special needs parents Special Needs Ryan Gosling Special Olympics spelling spoon feeding spring break staying positive stimming Strep STX209 Stylish Blog Award suicide summer Sunday School Sundays sunshine survival mode swimming talking talking to kindergarteners Target teacher's aides Teeth brushing Tegretol Temple Grandin Ten Commandments textbook case of Fragile X thankful thanksgiving that window/mirror thing The Autism Store The R Word the rapid passage of time The Right Things to say to parents of special needs children The Santa Experience the Shedd Aquarium The Twin Thing The Wiggles therapeutic horseback riding therapy This is Autism topless trampoline traveling with special needs children TV twins with special needs Twitter typical Fragile X characteristics typical kids typing vacation Vacation Bible School video games videos volunteering Waisman Center water play way-back-Wednesday What I've Learned What's your song? when a special needs parent dies Wiggles Wii games Winner Winner Chicken Dinner winter wonder Wonder Pets Wordful Wednesday Wordless Wednesday Words of Wisdom World Autism Awareness Day YMCA You Tube Zack Zoloft zoo animals

Fragile X Blogs